One Bozeman Counselor's Experience on Joining a Religious Order

At the age of 29 I felt called to join a religious order. I am referencing what years ago would be thought of as a convent. It was an odd thing to get a calling post having kids and not really wanting to live in a convent or give up all worldly possessions. But my journey took me to explore religious orders in my lifelong church that offer ways to participate (and do not require leaving your life and committing to a cloistered community). Which was good news for my kids.

My exploration became a lengthy, years long, process. The first step of many is to reflect on and explore the real reasons one wishes to join a religious order. Was it to escape? Was it to feel needed? As much as I would love to share it was altruism and selfless devotion, there were other more selfish reasons.

For one- I reflected on my need to help others and was it truly to selflessly help or was I expecting something in return?

Part of joining the order was to spend time in solitude and I was fortunate enough that my mentor could provide me with such a contemplative place. However, once there I reflected on how selfish it felt to be doing something for myself instead of being with my family.

Finally, I became aware of my very deep need for feeling forgiven. Again, something my mentor was able to provide as I underwent a (very) lengthy deep dive into my past and all the things I had been hiding and protecting.

The years spent prior to joining the order were experiencing reflective time, lots of time with my mentor, more reflective time, and time in service to the community where I lived.

What does this have to do with counseling? Years later I reflect that a calling is an awakening to become more than what we currently are. And I put out to you that in entering into the therapeutic relationship, you also have been called to become more.

As I reflect on what I needed at that time in my life, I have come up with some thoughts:

1. I liked the flow of the day that kept me grounded. The times for reflection reminded me to enjoy the day rather than racing ahead of myself.

2. The connection to and trust I had with my mentor to explore and forgive myself for things I had been holding on to for years felt like a release. Although confession got VERY TEDIOUS it was a reminder that letting go is a continual process.

3. Feeling part of the community I had existed in but not really connected to in a way that felt purposeful. By this I mean I volunteered more in my community and became aware of needs other than my own.

Ultimately what I learned was probably the most precious lesson of all- letting go. The relinquishment of time, expectations, guilt, my past, my future. Not worldly goods but those things that kept me from myself.

Go sell what you own.

5 Tips to Help Combat Winter Sadness and Seasonal Affective Disorder from a Bozeman, Counselor

With the transition of darker days, colder nights, and winter knocking at our doors, many of us can experience what is commonly called Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. According to Merriam-Webster website, SAD is defined as depression that tends to recur chiefly during the late fall and winter and is associated with shorter hours of daylight. Many may begin to experience depressive symptoms during this time of year, which can be a bit unnerving and concerning. It is not uncommon, particularly in the more northern states, to notice a shift in energy levels and moods as the winter months roll in. If you notice depressive symptoms are more cyclical with the change in seasons, perhaps you, too, may be experiencing seasonal affective disorder.

I commonly experience a transition in myself during this time of year. Sometimes it feels like it creeps up on me a bit, but there are a few things that I try to implement to help me fight the “winter blues.” Read on for a few tips and tricks. 

1. Take your vitamin D. Sun is just one way that we can acquire vitamin D. I was told by my physician that many of us don’t get enough vitamin D, even if we spend time outside in the wintertime. Vitamin D is often identified as the sunshine vitamin, however with less exposure to sun in the winter, our skin cannot create enough vitamin D. Taking a daily vitamin D supplement can help with your bones, increase immunity, and perhaps contribute to energy levels in the body. Talking to your doctor about a vitamin D supplement could help you feel a bit more like yourself this winter. 

2. SAD Lights. SAD lights are ways to mimic sunlight. According to nymag.com, SAD lights are ways to ‘trick’ the body into believing it’s summer and you can increase serotonin in your body which helps us “feel good.” There are plenty of options for SAD lights and some very affordable ones at Amazon.com. Incorporating SAD light therapy for about 30 minutes a day can be beneficial to mood increases. My mother uses hers every day while she gets ready for work in the morning and she swears by it. 

3. Therapy. Perhaps a no brainer coming from a therapist, however, I find the value of therapy is even more important during this time of year. Having a therapist to touch base on a week to week basis can be helpful for accountability for acknowledging and processing your feelings and experiences, and is important to feel heard. At Bridger Peaks Counseling, we have a number of therapists who can help you in your therapeutic journey. What better time to start than now!

4. Exercise. Indoors or outdoors, moving your body can be imperative to maintaining energy levels. I always encourage my clients to find ways that they enjoy moving their bodies. Some people hate the gym so maybe you get outside for a winter walk/hike instead. Group fitness classes can be huge for accountability and fun. Figure out what works for you and strive to find time a few times a week to make yourself and your body a priority. I love winter hiking here in Bozeman as the trails are well maintained and pretty packed down to make for very doable hikes. 

5. Socialize. While it can be hard to feel in the mood to socialize, it can be so important to maintain connections with people. Isolating can be a cycle you can get stuck in and then can sometimes convince yourself that all you need is more alone time. Spending time with people you love and care about can be a huge mood booster. 

It’s important to be in tune with your emotions and moods. If you are noticing a more depressed state during this time of year, you’re not alone. Incorporating one or all of these strategies can help you combat that lull you feel during the winter months.