If you’re anything like me – January is a time to slow down, reflect, and think about what I want to accomplish and change in the next year. If you’re also like me, when asked, “what are your New Year’s resolutions?” I tend to freeze up, feel the tension paralyze my shoulders, and the social pressure to list off specific goals in various areas of my life—career, health, relationships, financial, social, etc.
Woof.
It feels overwhelming.
Blank page that is all I see.
So much opportunity.
Yet I am stuck and feel trapped.
Confined by the edges.
Shall I wait longer?
Accept what comes up.
Look for something different or dance with the familiar.
I am so tired.
This may pass through the night.
Open my heart to heal.
The meaning appears elusive.
Shame in not knowing.
I will never pretend to be a writer or know “how” to craft a poem. These were the words that came to my mind as I sat down to write this blog. It started with the intent to capture the writing experience from the perspective of someone who lacks confidence in their writing ability. To lean into what I find hard, which would allow for a much deeper understanding of what my clients are experiencing in session. To be fully transparent, I started this piece months ago and have been hiding from it like my puppy does after she gets into the garbage can. I felt paralyzed by not knowing what content would feel relevant and relatable to the reader.
The weather has finally reminded us all here in Montana that it is indeed winter. The last few days have been snowy, cold and icy. Not ideal for a distance runner who trains in the dark, early morning. I was caught off guard this week when I vocalized to a friend that I enjoyed breaking trail and the harsh conditions that we were running through. The next day I was met with the same excitement about getting out the door early in what felt like -15 degrees. As I navigated the conditions running, I tried to draw a relation between my ability to embrace the “hard” in some areas of my life and then hide from it where I see weakness.
I believe that I am not alone in this struggle and that oftentimes we are drawn to hard things that we are comfortable working through and resolving. But what about the stuff that makes us hide? How can we lean into that? Well, if I looked back to the late 2000’s and reminded myself about how I felt with winter running there would be little to no enthusiasm. I was flat out spiteful that a good snow would disrupt my routine. I got to the current state of positivity through years of showing up to do the work. I did not look at my resistance as a weakness, but instead an opportunity to evolve into a versatile athlete. I drew pride and confidence day after day, year after year, making the commitment to winter running. I even sold my treadmill!!!
Well, where am I going with all of this?!?! In order to lean into the hard things it is so important to keep showing up with an openness to opportunity. It will take time and patience with a slice of humility, perhaps a dog or two to break trail with you. It is almost the start of the new year, so I am going to take my winter running mindset and apply it to writing with the hopes that eventually I get excited about the opportunity to embrace the hard. Maybe my poems will improve or my efforts will elicit support from a gifted writer, either way I am going to be patient with the process. So my message is to find your hard, as it may also turn into your joy!
About the Author:
Jeanne Cooper,
PCLC, ACLC
We all hold value and purpose, yet there are times in our lives when we lose sight of our "why". Finding direction can simply start with the acknowledgement that it is okay to ask for help. Being open to allowing someone to join you on life's journey with a willingness to make incremental changes can lead to personal growth and fulfillment. As a clinician, I create a space for clients to feel heard and to find their way by gaining a clearer sense of self. I take a person centered approach that incorporates CBT, motivational interviewing and mindfulness, adapting my practices to meet the unique needs of each individual. As a former collegiate and professional athlete, I believe that the mind body connection can be used as a tool to regulate emotions and shift mindsets. Through the therapeutic alliance, we will identify strengths and find ways to translate those skills to all areas of life.
I graduated from Villanova University with a BA in Psychology and earned a MsEd in Counseling from Fordham University. I am currently working towards my LCPC and LAC licenses in MT under the supervision of Rachael Dunkel, MS, LCPC, LAC, NBCC as well as Kory Ann Rogers, MS, LCPC, ACLC. I spent nearly two decades in education counseling adolescents and now see individuals finding their "why" at all stages of life. My concentrations include anxiety, depression, eating disorders, substance use disorders and sports psychology.
